


What Rogue Gallery Villain Is Your Soulmate?

by The_German_Grim_Reaper



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Buzzfeed quizzes, it is (as can be expected) a flaming hot mess, they go on a double date
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-22
Updated: 2019-06-22
Packaged: 2020-05-16 05:27:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19311556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_German_Grim_Reaper/pseuds/The_German_Grim_Reaper
Summary: Jerome and Jeremiah make a bet: whoever they get as the answer to their Buzzfeed quiz, they will ask on a date.  Chaos ensues.





	What Rogue Gallery Villain Is Your Soulmate?

“There’s a quiz for _what_?”Jeremiah asked, staring at his brother in dismay.

“Finding your villain soulmate.”Jerome repeated.“Look, it’s got all of us in it- I’m the most popular result, according to the comments.”

Jeremiah scoffed.“Let me see that.”He snatched the phone out of Jerome’s hands.

“Let’s make a bet.”Jerome suggested whimsically.“Whoever you get, you’ll have to ask on a date.”

Jeremiah shook his head, already starting to take the quiz.He frowned at the first question.

 _Which of these desserts most appeals to you?_ Below the question were four pictures: a chocolate cupcake with dark purple frosting and little bat decorations, a pumpkin pie with whipped cream, a chocolate chip cookie, and a hot fudge sundae.

Jeremiah selected the cupcake, obviously.Not because he actually liked cupcakes, but because it seemed like something Bruce would like.

 _Which of these is your go-to drink?_ The options were coffee, hot chocolate, tea, ice water, or alcohol.Jeremiah picked coffee, which was fitting as he was currently nursing a mug of straight espresso.

“Are you sure?”Jerome asked again.“I’ll even make the same deal.I’ll go on a date with whoever I get, same as you.”

Jeremiah eyed him warily.“Is this some sort of trick?”He questioned.

“Nope.”Jerome beamed.“Cross my heart and hope to die.”

Jeremiah sighed.He knew this was a terrible idea.But still, the thought of Jerome on a date with someone like Scarecrow or, god forbid, Professor Pyg, was enough to make him agree.“Alright.Fine.I’ll ask out whoever I get on a date.”

“Great!”Jerome beamed.“Would now be a good time to mention that I got Bruce?”

Jeremiah’s heart stopped.“ _Bruce_?”He repeated.“How did you get Bruce?He’s not even a villain!”

Jerome shrugged.With newfound determination, Jeremiah turned back to the quiz.

_What is your ideal honeymoon destination?_

 

 

“Jervis Tetch?”Jeremiah stared at the screen.He was in shock.How had he, _Jeremiah Valeska_ , fallen so far in the world that he’d been paired with Jervis Tetch?The Mad Hatter was, well, mad.But not in the fun way that Jeremiah and even Jerome were mad.He _rhymed_ when he spoke, for god’s sake.

Jerome cackled.“This is gonna be hilarious!”He grinned.“I can’t wait.Shall we make it a double date?”

Jeremiah slammed his head against the desk and groaned.

 

 

“So I hear you got me on the quiz.”Jervis told him conversationally.They were sitting at the corner booth inside an upscale Italian restaurant.

Jeremiah choked.“What?”

“The quiz.You know, ‘find your villain soulmate’.I got you too, which is the only reason I agreed to this whole thing- your brother somehow managed to convince me to take his bet.”Jervis shared.

Jeremiah nodded.“Yeah, I did the same.”He shot his brother a glare.

Jerome was sitting beside Jeremiah, one arm casually slung over a very uncomfortable Bruce Wayne’s shoulder.The poor kid looked like he would rather be anywhere but there.It was bad enough that Jerome had talked him into this thing at all, but to make it a double date with Jeremiah’s crush?Sure, he’d killed and tortured people before, but this was just _cruel._

“However did you convince the little bat?”Jervis asked, his question directed at Jerome.He had (thankfully) agreed to refrain from rhyming during their date, but that didn't make him any less annoying.

“Oh, I didn’t.”Jerome replied breezily.

“He kidnapped me.”Bruce elaborated, shooting Jerome a grumpy glare.

“Jerome!”Jeremiah scolded him in a hushed whisper.“I told you not to kidnap him!”

Jerome blinked.“Ah, no, I’m pretty sure you didn’t.You told me not to threaten, injure, or maim him- you didn’t say anything about kidnapping.”

Jeremiah glared at him.“It was implied.”

“What is going on?”Bruce blurted out at last.“Literally, why am I here?Can I just go home now?”

Jervis shot Jerome a reproachful glare.“You didn’t tell him about the _quiz_?”

Jerome shrugged.“I figured he’d want to take it here, in front of us, so we can all see his results.”

“What quiz?”Bruce asked despite himself.

“Here.”Jerome passed Bruce his phone.“Take it, we all want to see who you get.”

The waiter brought out their appetizer, some sort of fancy oyster dish with sauce.Jeremiah ignored it in favor of Bruce.As much as he disagreed with this entire fiasco, he had to admit that it would be nice to see who Bruce got. _Especially_ if he got Jeremiah.

“What kind of quiz is this?”Bruce questioned, frowning at the screen.“‘What insect are you most afraid of?’”

“I put wasps.”Jervis shared.

“Bees.”Jeremiah admitted.

“Caterpillars.”At their disbelieving looks, Jerome shrugged.“What?They’re all gross and squishy.I’d take a wasp any day.”

“Done.”Bruce said suddenly.They all waited with bated breath as the page loaded.“I got… Bruce Wayne.”

Jeremiah sighed in disappointment.“Does _everybody_ get Bruce except for me?”He bemoaned his luck.

“Possessive, hmm?”Jerome asked teasingly.“You know what they say- curiosity killed the cat, but jealousy disemboweled the clown.”

Jervis giggled.He actually giggled.Jeremiah couldn’t kill his brother, no matter how much he annoyed him… but Jervis Tetch was another story.He grabbed the oyster knife from the table.

 

 

Ten minutes and quite a lot of yelling later, they had been forcibly evicted from the restaurant for ‘disturbing the peace’.Jeremiah, personally, didn’t think there had been much peace to be disturbed.Jervis was still alive, despite his best efforts, and Bruce was as grumpy as ever.

But still.If he was being honest- and Jeremiah rarely was- he would have to admit that this date maybe hadn’t been the _worst_ thing in the world.It had, after all, led to him spending more time with Bruce.And even though that time had involved oysters, knives, quizzes, and two of the most annoying people Jeremiah knew… well, it couldn’t be _all_ bad.


End file.
